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This post is in response to a coroner's report on the death of a young baby where parents felt the concern about jaundice was the priority and could not recall safe sleep conversations, although they had been documented as had.  In the coroner's words, "The challenge is to ensure the underlying reason for safe sleep advice is communicated to all parents and caregivers in a way that is heard and understood." Our safety messages must not just be sent, but also received. They must land.

Why messages may not land

For many families, safe sleep information arrives among dozens of competing worries: pregnancy concerns, birth issues, newborn feeding, crying, jaundice checks, healing, lack of sleep, family stress, cultural expectations, other health messages, and more. Attention goes to whatever feels most pressing, understandable, and relevant.

A baby’s biggest SUDI risk is the hidden vulnerability in their “wake-up” response to low oxygen — something that happens inside that can’t be seen —  but needs protection on the outside. Safe sleep messages may float above parents, heard perhaps but not anchored. They haven’t yet touched down in their understanding. We can say everything right, but it may not register as important or urgent. This is an engagement issue, not an acceptance one. Safe sleep messages don’t protect babies unless they land.

Landing a plane is like landing a message

Pilots prepare for landing in three key ways: they line up the plane long before the runway, slow it down because nothing can land at full speed, and then touch down smoothly — no jolts or surprises. These three principles can guide us, too, when helping a protective idea for preventing SUDI to land with families.

1. Line It Up (Name the vulnerability)

We line up a protective idea by lining up the conversation around the baby’s hidden vulnerability — making it visible and simple to grasp. Start with the core message, without detail: “Young babies have a hidden vulnerability in their ‘wake-up’ system. They need extra protection for breathing that parents can provide.” This plants the seeds for both importance (about breathing) and confidence (I can do something), perceptions that are predictive of action.  Gently expand:

• “This vulnerability is greater for some babies than others, but present for all.”
• “Some babies don't respond as quickly or fully when oxygen drops. Parents can’t see this. Babies can’t signal it. But it changes the level of protection babies need.”

2. Slow It Down (Personalise it)

A plane can’t land at full speed — neither can an idea. Slowing the moment allows the idea to land emotionally (on feelings) and spiritually (on beliefs), not just verbally (on words).  Families need time to see how a message relates to their baby, not just babies in general. “Let’s talk about your baby and what this vulnerability means …” When families feel the message is about their child, their attention shifts. Protection becomes personal, not theoretical. The value of keeping their baby safe becomes felt, not simply heard.

3. Touch Down Smoothly (Show the protection)

Touchdown happens when families feel able to act. Whether it’s keeping the face clear, placing baby face-up, or using a wahakura or Pēpi-Pod when bedsharing, engagement happens when families understand the purpose: “This protects my baby’s breathing through a critical stage of development.” They take in what feels important, personal and doable. When parents understand the “why,” then “what to do” becomes obvious. “Here’s a simple way you can give that extra protection at home.”

The most effective moments in engagement come when we connect these three ideas: name the hidden vulnerability, personalise it, and show the protection needed.

Which idea needs to land?

In SUDI prevention, we are not trying to land all the messages — that leads to overwhelm. From one core idea — "protect breathing " —everything else flows: face-up, face-clear, smokefree, vapefree, wahakura, Pēpi-Pod, firm surface, no pillows ... When families grasp this one idea, safe sleep behaviours make sense.  And if they don’t, behaviours may seem optional, negotiable, “nice if possible” or even forgotten. So the message that must land is:  'protect breathing' where the baby’s invisible vulnerability is the reason and the family’s power to protect is the reassurance.  That’s the psychological anchor point that changes decisions.

The single most powerful way to help the idea land

Always bring the conversation back to protecting this baby’s breathing. Not safety rules.  Not checklists.  Not vague general advice.

Back to personalised protection of this baby’s hidden vulnerability to low oxygen. When this connection forms, families often shift from knowing to commitment. You’re likely to hear:

• “Now I understand why this matters.”
• “Now I get why my baby needs this extra protection.”
• “Now the Pēpi-Pod makes sense.”

That moment — when understanding finally lands — is the heart of SUDI prevention.

Mā te wā, Stephanie